Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
