i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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