He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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