I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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