Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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