This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
