I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
