what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
