....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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