Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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