i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
