you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
