If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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