You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
