is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
