holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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