Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
