We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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