It was confusing and full of hummus
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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