i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So apparently I’m into choking now
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