I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
