Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
