Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
