watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
