Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
