I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
