Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
