4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize