Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
