I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
