Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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