Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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