very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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