It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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