i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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