Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
