i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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