How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
