I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
