why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
