Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
