We're facebook friends in real life
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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