THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
