please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
