Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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