I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
