I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
