at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
