do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
