This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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